Peter the Great just ripped out my bicuspid!

I have succumbed to the peer pressure, and now have a blog. Now I can talk about how deep and alone in the world I am, and then convieniently name-drop some names that might have impressed some really unimaginative people in junior high, but now just give you a headache to even read. Or I can bore you until you plot to blow up my mom's minivan. Whoa, I have a lot of power. I can subliminaly mold you to become obnoxiously intellectual Midwestern teenage jihad-ers. Thank you blogger, for this source of obscenely unqualified power. I will think of you next time I sacrifice a 500-pound bull.